These are the main points/methods:
- Prepare the way for your child to OBEY, cheerfully.
- To prepare would mean to find the most suitable way to get them to do what you have asked. I have found that the easiest way to get them to obey is if I ask them with the right attitude and have a BIG smile on my face. At times I have made a game out of it and to see who can do the job the quickest or before mummy.
- I really enjoyed reading about what we should get our children to pray for: 'Teach them to ask the Lord to help them in the little things of life; to be wide awake to see the small duties which need to be done; to be helpful in the home." What a wonderful thing to be able to teach our children.
- Restful spirit and a loving heart
- When we have a restful spirit and a loving heart it will "imbue them with pure aspirations, and cultivate in them a love for things honest and pure and holy." It is important that we learn the right methods and acquire tact when dealing with our children. It is also important to realise that all children are different and what may work for one family may not always work for yours. We must study the different methods and think if they will work in our circumstances and with the different temperaments that our children have. I know that what I deal with my eldest child will not work on my youngest - I have always had to vary the way I teach and discipline.
- Quiet and gentle manner
- This is important because it "tends to quiet the nerves of the little one." I especially noticed this in my first child. I was unsure of what I was doing and I was often in distress trying to figure out what to do. When I was uptight and emotional I saw it replicated in my infant. I still see it now. When I am stressed or not as pleasant as I should be, the boys just copy.
- Song, prayer and lessons from scripture
- "The Lord had directed that the children, even from babyhood, should be taught of His goodness and His greatness, especially as revealed in His law and shown in the history of Israel.". What better way to teach this then through song, prayer and lessons. Music and song is so influential. How many times does your child have to hear a Sabbath School song before he knows if off by heart? What a wonderful way for your child to memorize such wonderful things about God. Again I will mention the 'Thy Word Creation' song books, they are wonderful! It is a scripture passage done to music with a book to go along with it. My boys have been doing these books for quite some time and they have truly been a blessing. We are currently learning Isaiah 53 and looking forward to knowing it off by heart. We must also keep in mind how the wrong type of music and songs influence our children.
- Teach with kindliness and affection
- As parents we are to govern the house and the children are required to obey. 'The restless spirit naturally inclines to mischief' so we need to instruct them in the path they should go and give their active minds and hands something good to do. If we do not keep our children busy in good things and let them do as they please, they 'will give heed to that which Satan may suggest'. We are not to scold and belittle them, we need to win them with our kindliness and love for them and talk to them as you have confidence in them. We need to encourage them when they do good. Whenever I encourage and thank my children for something they have done, they want to do it more and MORE! Encouragement and thanks is a wonderful things which we all like to receive. Use it on your children.
- Take time to reason
- As a child grows they like to ask 'why?' My eldest boy like to understand why things are being done a certain way. Not to answer back or be rude, but he genuinely likes to understand the reasoning behind some of our decisions. When we explain patiently he is happy, content and willing to do what we have asked. Yes, there are times when we need our children just to obey without demanding to know 'why?', but you can judge when that may be required.
- Vary the manner of instruction
- Outdoors
- We are to teach lessons from nature to our children. It is very good for our children to cultivate the soil and look after their own gardens of produce and flowers. When our children are thus taught they are brought into direct contact with natures God. This type of education is in accordance to Gods plan. It is also very beneficial to a child who finds school work taxing and difficult. No matter where you live (even a unit or apartment) you can still have a little garden, even if it is in pots on a balcony.
- Lessons to be short and interesting
- Even as an adult I find it very difficult to concentrate if a lesson is long and not interesting, so we must be veen more careful when teaching our children. Say it Simply, say it often so that the children will not loath spiritual instruction.
- Encourage independent thinking
- We need to let our children to draw out lessons and truths for themselves. It is important to ask your child what they have learnt from a particular story or object lesson. Let them think it through and if they need help then give some main points to consider. Especially when you are outdoors ask them questions about why God made things the way He did.
- Direct childhood activity
- We shouldn't stop our children from being a child and playing and having fun but we should direct and guide their activity into 'something... that will advance them in physical and mental attainments.' I know this is important, and to be honest with you time consuming and difficult at times. I have 2 very active boys and to keep them busy all the time in doing good is a full time job on its own but it is well worth the effort. Yes it takes imagination, creativity and patience but God will provide it all if we rest our trust on Him. This is my work in progress at the moment and I REALLY need Gods help especially with baby boy number 3 due in a few weeks - pray for me please!
- Teach helpfulness at an early age
- When my youngest boy was just crawling around he just wanted to help (just as all little toddlers do), so I would give him a cloth and tell him to dust all the legs of the chairs and anything he could reach. How he loved to help mummy!! Yes it would of been easier just to ignore him and tell him to play with something, but what a blessing now. He loves to help and work! Yes, we are continually teaching him new things and it takes time and patience, but trust me, it will all be worth it one day. We need to teach them to put others happiness first and to look for opportunities to help family members and others in our community as this brings true joy. Remember that you are the best example.
- Little attentions, often repeated.
- Think of a GARDENER - he doesn't roughly pull out the weeds or violently dig the soil. He is gentle and often tends to his plants. We are to be like this with our child. We are not to be rough and demanding. These are Gods children, He has given them to us and we are accountable for how we bring them up. Let us learn to be 'gardeners' and our children 'plants'.
- Give attention to little things
- We need to teach our children to be faithful in the little jobs so that they will be given bigger and more important tasks in the future for which they will be qualified.
- Talented children need greater care
- Greater care is needed for those children who are talented and who possess personal attractions. How many times have we seen these things turned into a curse? This draws us to the next point:
- Refrain from undue notice or flattery
- We need to learn to not put our children on display or exhibition for their varied talents or personal attractions. We are to give them little notice in these things and not to flatter them. One reason that children are so bold and forward is because they are 'noticed and praised too much, and their smart, sharp sayings repeated in their hearing.'
- Read to your children
- 'Take time to read to your children. . . . Form a home reading circle, in which every member of the family shall lay aside the busy cares of the day, and unite in study'. My boys favourite time of the day would be when we sit down together for worship or anytime during the day and read together the Bible stories or character building stories. Children love to have stories read to them.
- Train not tell
- Don't tell your children what to do without explaining first how to do it. Its like someone telling me to make a 3 tiered carob cake with a coconut icing without giving me a recipe. It would be difficult and frustrating.
- Educate for self-control
- This is difficult and takes time, it doesn't happen over night. It is with out consistent support and prayer that our children can obtain self-control. We want our children to do things because of a willing heart not from force. We want our children to make the right choices by themselves. I wish there was a simple and easy formula to follow even for us adults. All I know is that when we let Christ live through us it is much easier, and this is something that you are to patienly and consistenly teach your child and to talk about with them. Again, your example if the most important to them.
Please download the next study guide for chapter 5. Blessings!
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